Evangelion: Paradox
by Castiel Mk. III
Summary: There are many different realities, all with the slightest details changed in each one. All are vast in their diversity, and yet all the same. Some are good, some are the worst nightmares of those who inhabit them. Warning: OOC.
1. Isolation

**I don't own Evangelion, obviously. For those who felt like reading, the premise of this fic is basically me just throwing in several different situations of all genres.**

**Shinji is somewhat OOC in this part, but that's the only way I could really pull this one off convincingly.**

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shinji Ikari was flicking through channels in the living room of Misato's apartment, silent as he decided on what anime to watch. There was still some blood running down from his right eyebrow where it had been busted open, but the 14-year-old ignored it; the injury had been that way since it happened, and even though he was feeling somewhat light-headed it would pass.

His expression was much like his father's would have been, blank of all emotion as he contemplated what had happened.

The three stooges, as Asuka often called them, were outside the women's locker room. Kensuke had his video camera on and recording while Toji and Shinji were standing on either side of the door. Normally, it would have been Suzuhara's idea to do such a thing, but not today. The pilot among the trio had been the one to come up with it, wanting to make a change to the normal routine.

Most people would be quiet about such a thing, but considering that all the female half of the class were currently in there changing back to their normal clothes there was no reason.

"You two ready?" Shinji asked the both of them. Upon getting an affirmative, he held up the hand that wasn't on the door handle and opened, then closed it. As he did so, the changing room's door flew open to reveal the teenage boys, blatantly smirking at what they were doing.

The girls, Hikari and Asuka included, screamed in both anger and embarrassment at their sudden exposure before charging the entrance to visit as much pain on them as could possibly be done. As one, the two who had once hated one another both slammed themselves forward so that Kensuke could get more screentime.

"So, how's life been, Toji?" Ikari couldn't help but laugh, turning his head to avoid an attempt at grabbing him.

"Never better!" Both of them laughed in unison for a moment until Shinji was caught while distracted. A punch slammed into his forehead and sent the boy reeling back, at which point the other two bolted out, as had been agreed earlier just in case. That wasn't all though; another hit him straight in the mouth and cleanly bust his lip.

Even though it wasn't necessary, he felt the air leave his lungs as a kick slammed into his stomach. As he looked up from where he'd fallen with his back against the wall, that ever so familiar red hair spun away to join the rest in chasing Toji and Kensuke. It was some time before the younger Ikari could get up to leave the hallway, calm even though there was blood leaving his body.

Upon the secretary seeing the state that he was in, she attempted to call someone but he asked that she refrained from doing so. And so, Shinji had walked back to the Katsuragi/Ikari/Sohryu apartment, crossing paths with his partners-in-crime along the way. He got the tape, choosing to go along with their jokes about what he would do while recuperating.

Of course, the class rep had accosted him shortly afterward. It had been short, very sweet and to the point:

"Fuck off and ask your friend." That made her blanch and quickly leave him alone, as there was more than enough of his father's aura in the stare that he threw toward Hikari to do the job. Kaji, fresh from bothering his guardian, had taken one look and guessed correctly.

And so, now he was sat and waiting for either of the two women that he lived with to return. He hoped that it was Misato, otherwise there would be hell to pay.

But of course, fate saw fit to fuck Shinji over as much as it could. He heard her walking to the door of the apartment and rose from his seat, walking to the entrance and waiting a few moments. "Baka, I hope you-" For this particular task, the boy chose his left hand. What happened next could only be described as rightful payback.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Asuka Langley Sohryu thought that she was the best, plain and simple. While there were some reasons for her pride and egotism, in no way did they justify the levels that she went to. So, the backhander that the German redhead found herself on the receiving end of could be viewed as a balancing act.

Normally, she would have fought back hard enough to overpower the attacker. This being a Shinji who had long since passed the point of restraint, though, there was no chance of that. Smacking him in return, she yelped as the flowing red hair she took so much pride in was wrapped around his hand before being yanked on, helpless as her crotch slammed against his knee and lost the fight.

There was still plenty of fire left in her, and her nails stabbed into the baka's shoulders and drew blood, making him wince at the sharp outbreak of pain. With that, it turned in her favour, if only for a short while. Taking advantage of the fact that he wore short-sleeves, Asuka bit into his upper arm and made the boy scream.

She would later try to justify what she did to Misato and fail miserably. Breaking away from the now grounded and almost crying figure that was her fellow pilot, she ran to his room and pulled the door open. He got up a few moments later...

Just in time to see her stomp on his SDAT several times, shattering it into enough pieces that it could not be repaired. At that point, he burst into tears and fell to his knees. That was the first mistake.

The second was that she walked up to him with joy in her eyes and began laughing in her face. He spoke something under his breath and she foolishly made to lean in closer, "What was that?"

"BITCH!" Recoiling at the ringing in her head, it seemed as if Shinji teleported to a standing position before walking toward her. The worst part about it was that he had went past the point of anger, or any emotion at all. There was only a blank look on his face as he started down the hallway.

"I hope it made you happy... because now it's my turn." There was but silence as the haughty girl who right now was the target of all his rage, resentment and guilt backed into her door, reaching to open it in an attempt to get away from him before realizing the futility of such a gesture.

Misato, having heard the shouting, burst in as he drew back to punch her clean through the paper barrier and into her room. Grabbing his forearm as his fist was an inch away from Asuka's face, she dragged him into the living room. "Explain yourself!" Her voice, demanding and loud, projected itself throughout the apartment. It didn't even make Shinji flinch.

"You should ask her that." As the Colonel's attention turned to the Second, who had followed them, the door to his room slammed shut. The Commander's son was nowhere to be seen, having gone to bleed off his rage elsewhere. The only other teenager in the apartment blanched even further; she had quite some explaining to do.

Moments later, Shinji walked out with a small box in his hands, covered in several fresh lacerations. Neither attempted to stop him.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Gendo Ikari was in his office when he heard the knocking. "Come in." Shinji wasted no time, placing the box in front of him. "Now all memory of her is finally gone. I hope you are happy." The look of shock on his face was blatant, but there was no longer any reason to care. He did not wait to see the man's reaction.

As the door shut once again, the tears began to fall onto the immaculately polished wooden desk, one at a time. _Yui..._

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It was quite some time before he went back, and both of them were waiting. "Asuka, apologize-"

"She doesn't need to bother. I'm used to it." Walking into the bathroom, he turned the cold tap on and began to wash his hands. The stitches were prominent, but they wouldn't come undone because of a little water. As the girl ran back to her room sobbing, there was no recognition. "Misato?"

"Yes, Shinji?"

"I would like to sleep in your room for tonight, in case she tries anything." That was all he said, and it told her just how badly he had taken what she had done.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**I see this as having three parts. For those who may want WAFF, trust me, there'll be plenty of that soon. I felt a little dissatisfied with the earlier version of this chapter, so this idea sprang out of my mind fully formed and I'm going with it.**

**Until next time, which won't be long.**

Please rate and review! It makes my day a little brighter, plus the advice on where I could improve is always welcome.


	2. Realization

**Man, I'm onto something with these. Just for anyone who may have only read one of the two that will be uploaded, this is set directly after Isolation and is the conclusion, not quite short but very sweet at the end.**

**Enjoy!**

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shinji was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was tired, yet sleep eluded him; now that his SDAT was gone, it was obviously going to be difficult to adjust to the change in his normal routine.

He heard the door slowly open and pretended that he had fallen into Morpheus' embrace. Asuka's touch was unsteady, and going by the muffled noise that he had dealt with for some time she was rather sorry about the events of the day. "Shinji, I... I'm sorry." He could not help but feel sorry for what he had done, despite the fact that the redhead had incited it fully.

A moment later, his eyes opened to stare straight into hers. The expression of surprise was clearly visible and she quickly backed away to a respectable distance, "There's no need to be." Shinji felt the need to break the awkward silence that followed afterward, and proceeded to so so.

"Not to sound rude, but I need sleep and so do you." Closing his eyes once more, the door closing was the last thing that the brown-haired boy heard before falling into bliss.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

_A curtain of red hair washed over him as the pleasure, ever-constant, spiked over him. He was immersed in her, but would have it no other way._

_The rhythm was almost hypnotic; both of them were attuned with the other as the reciprocal, ever so graceful moments continued. Something was there, the scent flowing openly around him. Lavender, not something that most would associate with her fiery temper-_

_Both of them were almost there, and then as if by magic, they became one and screamed their rapture to the heavens-_

With a slight gasp Shinji burst into motion, sitting upright almost instantly. He was flushed and sweating a little, blushing heavily at what he had just been experiencing in his mind's eye.

She could never know about that, or he would be missing that part that was valued most by all teenage boys after the encounter that would surely follow. Walking out into the kitchen, neither of the other two were out of their rooms yet from what he could see.

That was, until he got a look at what time it was. "Ah, son of a..." Grabbing his outfit, he hurriedly pulled on the shirt, pants and shoes. Going commando was good sometimes, and he could do with the change. Pulling the door open, Shinji kicked it shut and then took off running to the school.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Stand, bow, be seated!" From outside the classroom, he could hear Hikari's voice. Pushing the door open and slamming it shut behind him, Ikari opted simply to take a running slide under the empty seats before reaching and taking the same place as always. Ignoring the stares directed his way, he simply settled in and opened up the laptop that was in front of him to pass the time while their sensei went on about Second Impact.

It wasn't long before a private message popped up on his screen.

**Sohryu-02: **Lazy baka, I had to eat Misato's cooking because you slept late!

Typical Asuka, of course. Smirking, he sent her a reply soon afterward.

**Ikari: **Well, why didn't you wake me up? Or did you just want to stare, Asuka-chan?

He could sense it on the wind, a glare that was sharp enough to cut cleanly through diamond sent his way. Kensuke and Toji both winced a moment afterward, clearly out of pity for what he would be subjected to afterward. Shinji could get over it, though.

Some time later, Shinji looked at the old man before speaking up. "Yeah, I'm quite sure that we could recite all the details about what happened by heart with all the times you've gone over it. There must be some severe problems in your past if you obsess over an apocalyptic event enough to try and press it upon us all, and so I suggest that you go find a therapist. Should be plenty of them around, what with the fact that I could get a PhD in psychology just by paying attention to how fucked up the people around me are."

Taking a breath after that short rant, he quickly became unnerved by the fact that everyone in the room was staring at him in silence. A short while later, the sensei took some of the heat off him.

"I... suppose that you are right, young man." Everyone showed surprise as the teacher pulled open a drawer in his desk and threw the book that he was reading inside before shutting it and getting up, walking out of the room. "Consider the rest of the lesson as free time, class." Asuka made to walk over to him, but Shinji was already on the way out, beckoning for Toji and Kensuke to follow him.

Eager to get away from the devil, as they so eloquently dubbed her, the two quickly did so. "You must have balls of steel to ignore her like that."

"Comes with the territory, I suppose. You people feel like hitting the arcade for a while?"

"Sure."

With that, the three of them took off to their intended destination, pushing the double doors open and walking away from the school building. They did not take their bags along, but Asuka and Hikari wouldn't rifle through the contents, right? Anyone who knew the both of them well enough would have facepalmed at such a line of thought, but no such person was around.

Upon hearing the screaming of that most often used Japanese turn of phrase, which actually described the three quite well, as one they laughed out loud and started running. Self-preservation ruled that they did not want to end up as Shinji had, after all.

It wasn't long before they were in the arcade, and hopefully safe from the mob of incensed girls searching for them. Kensuke showed some sadness at the loss of all his pictures, but more could be gained with some patience so it was not a major loss. Hikari thought that they were selling them behind her back, but that was not the case.

Looking at the machine that was in front of them, it was agreed that Shinji took first go at running the gauntlet. Waiting a few moments, a passer-by stepped up to the plate and loaded up, picking her fighter with a practised speed and confidence that made it clear this wasn't going to be easy.

**Ryu vs. Chun Li. Fight!**

What followed could only be described as a one-sided battle, Shinji proving no match for her skill and ability to pull off the moves that he seemingly could not hope to match. Round one was chalked off as a loss for him, but like Seth the annoying bastard, that was only the tip of the iceberg. The Chinese undercover cop on the screen immediately began to be beaten black and blue in an endless stream of fire and bouncing multiple combos off each other in a brutal display of domination.

As the rematch ended, the third one began and lasted all of sixteen seconds. Moving away from the controls, Shinji flashed a knowing smile the woman's way as she stared at him in wonderment. "Flawless victory."

It was then that his phone rang; only one person would dial his number at this particular time. Before anything could be said by the bottle blonde at the other end of the line he was speaking, "I'm on my way." The call was ended straight after he finished, leaving Ritsuko rather stunned at his bluntness.

"Hey, people, you might want to get to one of the shelters." The pilot who was now on-call was not surprised to see Asuka outside as he bolted straight past her, leaving a surprised look on her face for a moment before it registered and she followed suit. As he ran, the clouds blacked out the sky and left the street around him a touch darker for a while.

Or at least, he thought that until looking up. The Tenth Angel dawned over the pair, making the both of them shudder at staring it down without their Evangelions there to combat it. As its eyes shone, Shinji looked over at the redhead next to him and sighed, pushing her through the door to a nearby house and resigning himself to what was about to happen.

Moments later, the beams impacted with the area that he was standing in, sending most everything up in an explosion of debris and fire. If someone nearby listened attentively enough, his pained screaming could faintly be heard. When it stopped, she ran out to where he had been, having to hold in her scream upon seeing the state that he had been left in.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shinji Ikari had never felt such pain in his life, but persevered even though his body was screaming. His eyes were closed and he was trying desperately to gather enough energy just to move, but he could not. Yet another example of his failure, still he continued to try. What was there left for him to do but continue and hope, even if it proved to be futile?

His thoughts stopped all at once upon feeling the tears began to fall upon his face though. Her crying was not something that computed in his mind, for it was so unlike her as to be an alien concept. Asuka's eyes were closed, but he was thankful that she could not look at him. In that moment, his lips rose to meet hers and everything around him no longer mattered.

The Second's eyes shot open to stare straight into his, and the gesture was returned. It only lasted for a few fleeting moments; that was all that he needed to treasure though. Pushing himself up, it took little effort to guess that he was a wreck. Concrete from the pavement had shotgunned and buried countless small pieces into the side of his head and face; his left arm would not respond upon his attempts to move it; there were several cuts in his chest and legs. To top it off, his collarbone had broken.

None of it mattered though. Maybe he could never have her, but what Shinji felt for Asuka had long since gone past such a thing. Her happiness, whether with him or another, was all that mattered to him. The EVA, his father, NERV, even Misato and his mother, all of them could burn in Hell for eternity as long as she went unharmed. All the Angels in existence would move aside or be crushed by his hands, for Third Impact would not happen if he had anything to say about it.

Getting up from where he had lain on the broken ground, the Third Child began walking, empowered by the new resolve that had manifested in his heart. Unit-01 awaited him, ready and waiting in its cage. He fully intended to release the bestial nature inside of him and use it to the best of his ability, for the Angel of Might would know fear upon his arrival. That much was certain.

He did not, would not, _could not_, look back or run away. "What are you waiting for?" Still being speechless at the sudden change, Asuka simply went after him, also headed to her Eva.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Geofront is breached! I repeat, the Angel has made it through!" All around, there was chaos as the Colonel, Commander and bridge crew were all in motion at once, shouting out over each other as the situation was updated and more orders were issued. In the end, though, there was little they could do. Zeruel was slowly approaching them, and all went silent as they merely waited.

It never got the chance, for a fist came clean through the wall, slammed straight into the side of its head and sent the Angel stumbling. The barrier was all but obliterated as Unit-01 emerged, ready to fight. Blood was flowing out into the LCL of his entry plug rather rapidly, but it was ignored as he continued.

Due to its being taken by surprise, the Angel never had a chance to counter before he struck. With a roar, the armour plating around its jaw shattered and the carnage began. Gripping both its bony shoulders, there was a high-pitched whining noise that could be discerned as a response to pain, but it never finished as a punch slammed cleanly into and through its head, the Eva's entire hand coming out of its back. Yet there was still more to be done, as both arms were pulled back before punching into its core, smashing it into dozens of crystalline pieces.

Kicking the body away, Eva unleashed a primal scream before kneeling and powering down, the entry plug ejecting shortly after. When Shinji did not come out, the panic resumed. "Get EMTs out there now!" Thanks to their proximity to the titanic figure, it was not long before he was pulled from the plug bleeding and broken, his limp form showing little signs of life except the faint pulse that could be felt if looked for.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

He had been blindfolded, to remove the very real possibility of his seeing the full extent of the injuries sustained and going into shock because of it. The Third was on ice as it was, and anything more was likely to finish him off. As such, only certain visitors were allowed in.

That did not change the fact that he wasn't alone in the hospital bed though, but Shinji was thankful for the presence. Both his arms were around her, and it seemed that his affection was quite welcome. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and was more bandages and stitches than skin at the moment, but whoever it was didn't mind.

Lavender. Turning his head a little, there was but silence. For a moment, waking her up was a viable option, but it could wait. The one that he had thought would never be his deserved that, and so he fell asleep once more entwined with her.

From his seat next to the hospital bed, Ryoji Kaji smiled. "Mission accomplished." Somewhere inside the clean-shaven, white haired man's apartment, a SEELE assassin lay dead on the floor; the cabal themselves seemed to be headed the same way soon, from what he had heard of Gendo's newest scenario.

Nonetheless, it mattered little. What came first for the two pilots was the fact that they finally got a relationship upgrade, making the jokes that were always cracked by certain people in 2-A true in a sense. Underneath all the pain, arguments and stress, something that was there finally made itself known.

The both of them could be happy, for once in their lives.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

**And there it shall end, for I am that type of writer.**

**Something with a different mood will be next, and it is going to be complete crack. **

-x-x-x-x-x-


	3. Just Another Day

**So, the idea came to me on this fine day completely unbidden, as most do. Considering that nothing like it has ever been done before, I am taking the chance for myself.**

**WARNING: CRACK INBOUND! A strong application of MST3K is recommended, for this will take a chainsaw to anything and everything canon-related.**

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Kaworu, get dressed!" His partner promptly started to do so, pulling on his jeans as Shinji looked away. "What is it this time, Ikari-san?" There was always some whack-job around for them to go after, it seemed. Both of them had become used to it, even though most others were unable to deal with the sheer levels of weird, but for the eccentric-hunters, it was just another day on the job.

"Hello Kitty arsonist," of course, Akagi was one of the more prevalent ones; damn that woman and her obsession with cats. "You get Ayanami, I'll get the equipment." When Kaworu was fully clothed, both of them went through different doors. For some odd reason, the Magnum P.I theme always went on loop when they were doing this; not that either of them minded, because it was awesome incarnate.

A few moments later, a suitcase was tossed into the back of the SS Impala as Detective Ikari went round to the driver's seat and opened it, smiling at the sense of cold leather against his back. That he was not wearing a shirt was inconsequential, for he was still clothed for the waist down and it was almost always hot in Tokyo-3 so nobody minded much.

A few moments later, Rei II and Kaworu were also seated in the old American muscle car. "It's all in there?"

"Yeah; balloon swords, tranquilizer gun and a ball of string big enough to make Ariadne cry- Surprise, bitch." Nagisa's head, and Ayanami's, was promptly forced back into the headrest when Ikari floored the gas, popping the glove compartment open and pulling out a siren with magnetic plating on the bottom which he quickly turned on, reaching out the window to plant it squarely on the top of the '66.

At a speed that would have made his old mentor, the Colonel, shed tears of joy, Shinji skilfully navigated to their destination, which was not hard to find due to the smoke on the wind. Coming to a stop, the bluenette grabbed the case as they all got out before handing it to Shinji. Entering the code to open the lock, he took a toy sword and left one for Kaworu, letting Rei take the dart gun and string.

"Alright, people, you know what to do." Running straight to the nearest entrance, the doors were kicked open with a resounding bang as all three went in at once. Wordlessly agreeing, they all split up to cover more ground. Of course, it wasn't long before Shinji found the cat lover; as per usual, she was busying herself with burning the familiar dolls and laughing under her breath.

"Time's up, bitch!" Making a strange snarling noise, Ritsuko threw the burning plushie at him only for it to be parried by the balloon cutlass that Shinji was wielding. Rushing toward the older woman and swinging to hit her in the shins, it was to no avail as she backed away and attempted to scratch him.

For some reason, she had a severe aversion to balloons; maybe it was because of her feline nature, maybe not. Nobody really concerned themselves with trying to figure it out and just chose to go with the flow. As his attempts to strike her were coming to no avail, he was grateful when a ball of string flew past and she turned to chase after it.

Quickly catching up to her, for the sake of an easy arrest he decided simply to dispense with pleasantries so they could get out of the burning building. Putting the career criminal in a chokehold, he dragged her toward the entrance. Rei and Kaworu were waiting there, so they all left to find several cop cars outside.

"No worries, people; just take care of that, would you all?" Bundling her in the back seat of the car with Rei keeping the dart gun trained in her, there was but silence as they drove to the police station. Another successful arrest on the tally, as the three of them together beat the rest of the department combined for such things.

As they passed the Akagi over to be put into lock-up, Shinji, Ayanami & Kaworu went on their way back to the shared apartment. "So... you two up for seeing who ends up on top again?"

...

DDR was serious business for the three after all, and it was always entertaining to see who proved to be the victor out of the three, for it was always in flux. When you were competing with two of the best though, it was a matter of course that things would go that way.

**Nobody **fucked with the time they always allocated to the surprisingly addictive dancing game, for Rokubungi had learned the hard way when he did so. To this day, nobody knew how he had managed to traumatize the man in such a manner with only a small plastic bag and a six-pack of water bottles. Needless to say, it wasn't what anyone would have expected if they ever decided to try and find out.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The next day, the three of them sighed in unison. "Did we get drunk again?"

"It seems that way, yes."

"Well, at least we weren't interrupted."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

There it is; the first of what I hope will be many chapters detailing the insanity that can only come from such a combination of things.  
Please rate and review, because come on: It's Kaworu. Surely that alone warrants it?


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